


Love Is Gone

by maelins



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sad Ending, SakuAtsu, meet every birthday, royal au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:20:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29516613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maelins/pseuds/maelins
Summary: “Still in yer circle, Omi?” Atsumu greets.He dresses up all formal for someone who acts carelessly. Sakusa looks away.“Still dancing without partner, Atsumu?”“Why? Ya want to be my partner, Omi? I do not want to dance with anyone who is not ya though”It takes Sakusa 20 times to celebrate his birthday party with boring people for Atsumu to finally appear.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 18





	Love Is Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Please note, this might be a sad ending depends on who you love. but ofc we love both but ya know what i mean.
> 
> Please also note, do not blame on anyone. blame me.
> 
> Hope you enjoy and happy or sad reading idk

The sweet melody from the violin can be heard while all the staffs in the castle work on their designed parts. The knights are checking on their positions and practicing their sword play, the stewards are in charge of the management and supplies, the cooks are busy preparing foods, the entertainers practicing at the music hall- everyone is busy doing something but Sakusa Kiyoomi.

He slowly immersed in his own playing at the balcony as his personal assistant waits outside the music room- Sakusa’s personal room. Nobody ever enter it and nobody dares to.

Soon after as he stops for a breath, there is a light knock on the door. The court lady outside is bowing her head though Sakusa does not see it from behind the closed door. Sakusa turns his back and let the violin down while walking to take the case. He finally asks the lady outside.

“Yes?”

“Your Royal Highness, the suit is ready”

It is Sakusa Kiyoomi, Prince of Itachiyama’s 20th birthday. The introvert prince yet loved and adored by the people.

The King himself held his family’s birthday with two ways. One, the noble family and royal families from another country are invited to the castle and two, the people are celebrating the birthday at the town with foods and another supplies covered by the King.

But for the prince, it does not change anything. Though celebrating every year, meeting the same people does not make him found a friend. He does not do well with others. He may show himself at the party but makes no effort to talk and even leave just to stay in the music room to play violin by himself.

He wears his suit by himself as he stands in front of the standing mirror. There is a nickname for him, named by the people- Precious Prince. It started at the first meeting he had with the people of Itachiyama when he was 15 since he does not do well with people.

The party starts at 6 as he glances at the clock. There is 15 minutes left and he does not want to leave his room- if possible. _Cannot they start without me? It is not like I am doing something for them. Should I write a letter telling them to enjoy themselves?_

Busy fidgeting with his fingers, checking his nails to see some small calluses. _I should stop playing nonstop or mother will get mad._ As he checks on them, his personal assistant knocks his door to inform about the guest, “Sir, the Miyas are here”

_The Miyas_. Sakusa does not reply but nods- believing that his man does not need a reply from him.

It is almost 6 and instead of leaving the room, Sakusa stares outside his window to see many carriages and people down there already. It such a busy sight and too much skin ships. As he randomly throws his sight, he notices two men at the garden right under his balcony.

_Is that Prince Miya- the crown prince?_ He asks himself. He knows people but not interacting with him.

Sakusa is watching them when suddenly a worst scene happens right in front of his eyes. He found himself surprised when the anonymous man slaps the prince. He feels like he can hear the sound from the skin slapping.

_What is happening down there? Why did he do that to a crown prince? Who is he?_ He can feel the heat of their conversation from where he is standing. Then, another young man appears- he wears a crown too. _The twin_.

Later, the man leaves the two as they play with each other as if nothing happened- surely, they talk about it. Sakusa follows the man who just left- _it is the King. It is their father_.

Sakusa then watches the twins again but his eyes glued on one of the prince as they separated their way. _Is he okay?_

\--

“Thank you for coming” he ends his speech and leaves the stage as the crowd claps.

There are so many people. The great hall- the most spacious area in the castle turns into a crowded place. It almost looks like that one situation at the town he witnessed.

As soon as Sakusa steps on the last stair, a group of men come and surround him with 3-meter radius of a circle before they walk towards the end of the room- where his cousin is standing with a glass of red liquid on it.

“People is not staring anymore. They are getting used to it, Precious Prince” he says while offering him a drink.

“I do not think that is a good word to address a prince”

“Now, you tick me off”

Though knowing Sakusa is joking, it sure gets on his nerves sometimes.

“I am leaving” Sakusa states simply that his cousin just nods.

Sakusa steps at the other side of the hall door, he nods at the men as a sign to let him walk alone to his room. They gladly comply and bow to him.

Sakusa then walks along the corridor and watches the starry night from the big windows. Just a while ago, there are too many people but now, he is all alone. _It takes second to lose everyone_.

He reaches the music room and grabs his violin, makes his way to the balcony with a straight back, he put it up by his neck. Hold it steady as his four fingers arch over the fingerboard, play the strings. Despite the loud music from the hall, Sakusa does not mind. The only music he can hear is the sound he plays.

The melody from the strings he arched over and over again until another sound, specifically, from a piano assist him.

He pulls the stick down and tilts his head to the side with his furrowed brows. Someone is playing the piano behind him- the same music too.

“How did you know that song? And, why are you here? Nobody is allowed here” he asks, the man in front of him smiles and presses another key playfully before answering.

“I- lost?” he says- bites his lips and avoiding the stare.

Sakusa remembers that he asked his personal assistant to leave him alone and just enjoy the party since he did not expect there could be this situation. There is never be.

In front of him, there stood a very shining prince with embroidery, gold lacing and other elements as his outfits- he wore a cloak on top of it, to clearly identify him as the Prince of the realm. He has idea on who he is.

“You have not answer my first question. How did you-“

“I heard ya play and I want to try it out. It was a nice song” he simply says.

“You lied”

“Why would I? Father would be so mad if he finds out I am lying”

Sakusa watches the prince in front of him. A prince with a golden yellow hair flipped to the right side. His undercut and eyebrows are black, an indication of his original hair color. His eyes are large, hooded and slightly drooping. To top it all, he is wearing a smile or kind of smirk on his face.

“I am Miya Atsumu and you? Oh, you are the birthday prince, right? Prince Kiyoomi?”

Sakusa does not know what to say. This guy in front of him seems so- outside his mind.

And the fact he is Miya Atsumu, he sure is not lying. He is the great _pianist_ that everyone admires. He learns music just by listening to them that he can press the keys exactly the same after.

“Sir, His Majesty asked for you to come to the hall”

Sakusa opens the door and his personal assistant meets eyes with Atsumu- his eyes growing big. For his entire life, he has seen nobody enters the room. His beloved prince even clean it by himself. It is as if he sees death before his eyes.

“Sir, I am sorry for my-“

“It is okay. Lead the way”

Sakusa holds the handle to close it when Atsumu runs towards him. Sakusa is taken aback- his man is ready to do anything for their prince. Atsumu looks at them- lips form into a smile and his eyes are begging for something.

“Can I go with ya? I am bored, to be honest”

“No, you cannot. Do not touch anything in here while I am gone”

And that is how Atsumu left alone in Sakusa’s private music room without Sakusa knowing why he did that. _Must be some kind of reflex_.

\--

Atsumu turns his head in such a fast motion when the door open after an hour- reveals Sakusa and his man. Sakusa walks in with a very flat face- Atsumu almost thinks he might be forgiven if he tells Sakusa his wrongdoing.

He stood still and hides something behind his back. Sakusa stares at it, head tilts to get a better view of what is it. Atsumu grins- invisible sweats run down his cheeks.

“Did not I tell you to not touch my stuffs?” Sakusa finally asks.

_But maybe no. He is scary_. Atsumu pouts and pretends to remember something before reply simply, “Did ya?”

Sakusa sighs, eyes closed for seconds before looking at the other prince again. “Give me back my violin”, he commands. Hands extend towards Atsumu yet the latter does not budge. But recommending another stuff for him to do.

“Why do not ya play piano-“

“Give me”

They stood far away from each other- Sakusa is trying so hard to not let his emotion takes control. He really wants Atsumu to give it back or at least releases it from his hold. He almost makes his way to him and just grab it away. But- no, it may lead to skin ship and that probably will be the last thing he will do.

He stares back at the violin behind Atsumu’s back to realizes some of the strings break. He releases a very deep sigh.

“I hope you have a good reason for breaking my precious thing”

“What? What ya talking about? I did not break anything”

Atsumu says- bites his lips after as he avoids Sakusa’s stare.

“Don lie on my birthday. Did you break it?”

Atsumu almost let out a laugh when Sakusa uses his birthday as his defense but seeing the prince’s serious face, he swallows his laugh back.

“The thing is- yea, I broke it. I am sorry” well, Atsumu obviously wants to lie and search for another back up answer but he got distracted while looking at Sakusa. _He does not get mad?_

Atsumu clenches his fist when telling the truth and bites his lips when lying- is what Sakusa learns that day.

Sakusa reaches for the broken violin which Atsumu puts on the piano as he sits on the chair. Atsumu comes closer but takes a step back as he just remembers the prince might feel uncomfortable.

Atsumu, cannot stay still doing nothing and say nothing is trying to break the silence, he brings up a topic to ask, “What is yer hobby?”

But it did not go like what he thought it will be as Sakusa replies, “Playing violin” with a death stare at him right in his eyes.

“That is not very nice of ya to say to someone who already apologizes” Atsumu states, his facial expression really says everything.

“I am just answering your question”

Atsumu rolls his eyes and stands silently next to the prince who is skillfully handling his so-called- _broken_ violin. Changing the strings and tune it back again, Atsumu watches in awed that his mouth agape. Sakusa’s delicate fingers move along to touch the strings, careful not to break them again.

Lost in his own mind, Sakusa gasps when Atsumu suddenly touches his finger, “Can you _please_ remove your hand?”

Atsumu raises his brows, panicking and leans back before chuckling awkwardly, “Sorry, I was not thinking”

Time passing by, nobody is talking or saying anything. Even Atsumu is keeping still, to be surprised and he still watching him closer despite claimed he was bored before. Sakusa steals a glance.

“Why are you smiling?” Sakusa finally asks- after debating in his mind for minutes.

“Why? I like to put on a smile. Do not ya want to-“

“You just broke my precious thing and you expect me to smile?”

After a final touch, Sakusa is done with his violin as he puts it back to its case. He makes his way to the other side of the room and put it in display along with the other instruments.

“I am sorry, okay but ya know, ya have a very nice outfits but there is one lacking. Ya really have to smile, the face finishes of the fashion”

Sakusa does not even nod or retort but arranging his stuffs, probably know it was Atsumu’s doing. And as if seeing it coming, Atsumu asks another question, “What is yer favorite quote?”

No response as he continues, “Okay, mine is _eat well and release well_ ”

Sakusa frowns but Atsumu does not see it.

“Did ya know why it is itchy when mosquito bite ya? Because they pee on the skin-“

Sakusa turns his back. The wrinkles between his brows will left mark on Sakusa but the facial expression he makes, will left a mark on Atsumu’s memory.

“Can you, please, mind your language? It is uncomfortable” he begs, Atsumu laughs his heart out.

It takes Sakusa 20 times to celebrate his birthday party with boring people for Atsumu to finally appear.

  * **Sakusa’s 21 st birthday -**



Sakusa stays at the hall- dancing, well, at least that is what he is trying to do inside his 3-metre radius of circle. It is hilarious to see the men who surround him move the way he moves. He was forced to stay there by his father for a little longer and turns out- the night be so bad then boom, Atsumu approaches.

“Hi, ya good in there?” he starts.

Atsumu wears red outfit and oh god, does he attracts too much attention just by breathing. It is as if he is attending his own party.

“Do not ya want to be my partner, Omi?”

Sakusa stares at him- watching his every move. They are not dancing but just moving from left to right at the same time. Atsumu is keeping up with him as he smiles- grinning to be exact.

“I am good” Sakusa replies, avert his eyes.

Atsumu stares before replying “Yea, I can see it”. His voice is telling Sakusa he is chuckling inside.

Atsumu talks a lot- about their journey to here, that he fights with Osamu and the King made them repented on it by walking on feet for hours, and that his outfits tonight was his idea and so on. Sakusa listens.

From what Sakusa knows so far, Atsumu is a carefree, confident prince- different than his twin who has a composed personality. But also, different from other noble and royal families he knows. Add the fact that Atsumu always put on a lazy smile on his face and _geez_ , he enjoys provoking people and giving rude comments on something.

“Yer not going to talk? Ya enjoy listening to my story? Then, I am going to tell ya more” Atsumu says.

_One best things about him, he does not force me to do something._ Sakusa has on his mind.

“Ya do not answer my question. Yer not saying hi either. Yer like that last year too”

_It is just that- he does not seem to stop talking_. Sakusa rolls his eyes, “Do not talk to me” while Atsumu chuckles. He is just feeling happy he succeeds to make Sakusa talks- though it is just an insult or what.

A while after, Sakusa notices Atsumu’s face drops when someone walks to him and whispers something. Atsumu glances at Sakusa for a while and flashes a smile- warm and soft one before he left to somewhere.

Sakusa watches Atsumu makes his way to his brother before walking away to leave the hall- he stops his men, “Excuse me for seconds” is all he said and follows to where Atsumu is heading.

Sakusa hears murmurs from the alley outside, two guards are there along with two royal families’ member. It is Atsumu and his father. _What am I doing? This is privacy_ \- he told himself and about to leave when he hears a slap.

Atsumu is already facing to his left and the man in front of him just moves his hand to his side. Sakusa’s heart clenches at the sight.

_“So, ya not going to apologize? Did ya think I am going to let ya doing something like that?”_

_“I-“_

_“If ya going to spit nonsense, do not bother talking. I already told ya before, keep that in mind”_

_“Yes, father”_

\--

Sakusa was playing the violin like what he always did when Atsumu shows up with a huge grin on his face and Sakusa does not say anything about it. He just let him in. Yes, it is the second time they met, but something about Atsumu does not bug him the way the others did. Also, it probably not a good time to push him away after what he witnessed.

“Ya like this place so much, Omi. It did not take me long to figure out where ya would go. But yer men are” Atsumu starts as he makes his way to sit on the chair in front of the piano.

“It is my dark room. I spent my gloomy day here”

Sakusa is waiting for a retort but instead he was replied with nothing. He looks at Atsumu to notice his cheek looks like a blushing for someone who does not know the fact.

“Your outfits are-“

“Ah, sorry. It must be uncomfortable for ya. I bet my shirt is thirsty too so I-“

_What a dumb excuse._ Sakusa tells in his mind. He then makes his way to the guy sitting and pulls out his handkerchief- sit next to him.

“Your hairstyle says you are the dumbest but I do not know you are more than that”

The distance is not that close but not that far either, it is a safe distance like what Sakusa claimed it is. He helps him wipe the wet cloth in silent and feel Atsumu’s stare.

“Right now, I am upset enough to fight back. So, ya win”

Atsumu has been talking too much and defending himself way too often whenever they talk. So, listening to him like this- his weak voice- his defeat- it feels strange in some way.

“Why, did I hurt your pride that much if you lose to an argument?”

Sakusa finds himself laugh when Atsumu puts such a face to reply to his question. Basically it means- _nobody can hurt me and my pride_ as he pouts.

“You put too much effort on your clothes, so it will take time to dry off or you got something else?”

“Can I at least get a _thank you_? I dressed up for yer birthday”

It is just that, whenever Atsumu talks something, he forgets what he wants to say. It happens often that he sometimes assuming it is because of Atsumu’s honest answer- no, not because his beating heart. No.

  * **Sakusa’s 22 nd birthday -**



“Still in yer circle, Omi?” Atsumu greets.

He dresses up all formal for someone who acts carelessly. Sakusa looks away.

“Still dancing without partner, Atsumu?”

Maybe nobody notices besides Sakusa, Atsumu and Sakusa’s men- the circle is shrinking whenever Atsumu is approaching. It is 2-metre radius of a circle now.

“Why? Ya want to be my partner, Omi? I do not want to dance with anyone who is not ya though”

Sakusa is growing closer to him and even wants to be _close_ to him. He finds comfort in him- though he is annoying, lacks of common sense and does not listen well, but he sure is fun to hang out with.

But still does not change the fact, he needs to stop talking sometimes.

“Atsumu-“

“Right, I need to go first. See ya later, Omi”

Atsumu leaves as he waves at him and Sakusa stops moving. The circle is expanding again. Sakusa watches Atsumu walks towards his twin and acts like nothing happened as he takes the glass his twin hands to him. He leans his back against the wall and talk to each other, laughing even.

Sakusa looks away as he commands, “Walk me to the door”

Many are staring as Sakusa suddenly leaves but nobody complains. It always happened. The prince used to spend little time partying with people.

But Atsumu’s heart sinks at the sight. For some reason how, Atsumu notices Sakusa’s eyes drop sad yet he does nothing but watching the prince walks away.

“Ya okay watching him leaving?” Osamu asks.

Atsumu looks down, moving his glass into a circle motion- he sighs and drops his shoulders. He turns his gaze on his father at the other side of the room who also watches their very movements despite being with the other royal families as he gulps down his drink.

“Yea, I am fine”

Osamu reaches for the foods on the table for only god knows how many times it is at that moment while offering his twin some. Atsumu adds, “I will think about this later”

“Do not overthink, yer brain could not take it” Osamu retorts.

“Cannot I just think?” Atsumu replies- munching.

“No. Do not even think about it”

  * **Sakusa’s 23 rd birthday -**



It is special since Sakusa agrees to play for the crowds. To make this decision, he has been thinking for months and even asking a lot of people (Komori, his personal assistant and his mother) about it. The crowds, the stares, the noise and the walk to the stage- it is such a big deal for him.

But from his hair down to his outfits and the way those delicate fingers of him arch over the strings along with his expression, it is all perfect. As if he has been waiting to play in this kind of ceremony- to impress people.

While watching the rare performance by the _precious prince_ of Itachiyama, almost all the queens and princesses who attended the party are wishing him to be the part of their family, if possible.

Atsumu at the other side cannot even blink his eyes that he tries to keep them open until Osamu elbows him to stay sane or people will talk.

“Ya always play that song, Omi. What is it called?” Atsumu asks as soon as Sakusa steps down the stage and yes, Atsumu is on the front row to get the better view.

Though he is inside his circle, Atsumu seems does not care about it. But Sakusa is.

Atsumu keeps talking and asking, sometimes Sakusa does not hear it very well since there are people and musics. Until then, the circle turns into only 1-metre radius with Atsumu at the outside. The gap between them is bearable for Sakusa. _It is okay, we are only standing this far when I am outside my room._

“Love is gone” he tells slowly but Atsumu hears it just right as he asks, “Ooo, what is this? Ya like someone?”

Atsumu got that smile on his face, a very excited one as he stops and faces Sakusa who also did the same.

“How did you manage to get that idea?”

Atsumu tilts his head and shrugs his shoulders, he rolls his eyes and chuckling. Too much expression in a second.

“I am just asking. Just another question from me to ya”

“I do not think I need to answer that”

“Why?”

“Because I chose not to”

“And, why?”

“You are annoying”

“Just yes or no”

“I do not believe you”

“Why-“

The men are now staring at Atsumu- probably questioning _why is this guy cannot read the situation? Our prince already said no, so leave him alone._

Sakusa sighs and looks at Atsumu who still hoping for answer. He replies, “Yes. Now, leave me”

“Who is it?”

Sakusa glares along with his men. Atsumu feels like something sharp go through his body as he steps back, watching them in distant, “Okay, okay. Fine. I am not asking anymore”

Just before Atsumu opens his mouth, someone calls for him. It is the king, his father. Nobody knows how fast Atsumu’s heart is beating that moment and how he wishes he is not where his father is seeing him standing. Osamu is watching from a far, following his father too to prevent anything worst from happening. If there is any.

“Now, yer going to miss me when ya cannot see me. I will be back. Or not. Do not wait. Or not. Well, I do not know”

Atsumu waves at him with hands in the air with face full of smile. Atsumu may think he succeeds to lie but Sakusa is fast enough to notice his face changes the moment he turns his back.

_Why is every time the king asking for him, he got all nervous and somehow scared? As if he breaks a rule._ Sakusa asks himself.

\--

Osamu hugs Atsumu as they stay together at the dark alley. Atsumu is not crying but his heart is. He wants to scream at the top of his lung but chose to swallow it back. There is no use to it.

“I used to get hit when I want silly things. But this one, I cannot bear the pain, Samu” Atsumu confesses.

Osamu nods at him, secretly eats the last bite of his food before replying his sad twin.

“Do not get too fond on him. Keep him in line and-“

“He is- _my Sunarin_ ”

Osamu’s eyes widen. He expected this ages ago according to what he notices and all Atsumu talks about is him but it is still surprising. The fact that his brother likes someone besides him is something he cannot imagine in this lifetime. _Maybe it is real, we are on this age already. everyone wants to love and to be loved._

“Ya like him that much?” Osamu asks, his hug on Tsumu’s shoulders tighten.

Atsumu buries his face on his hands which he wraps around his knees before admitting, “Yes”

Then, his tears finally fall. The burden he is having is now being shared with his half. Osamu chuckles at the sight. _Atsumu is strong, stubborn and his ego is always win in him. So, when his tears fall, he really is hurting._

“Can I tell mom?”

“No, she will tease me for the rest of my life” Atsumu replies, wiping his own tears.

“Of course she is. The arrogant prince who thinks he has the most fangirls and who swore his life to not fall in love is breaking his very own-“

“I am not arrogant. I really am famous than ya. Do not be jealous, Samu. Ya can work hard and have yer own fan-“

“Nah, I will just steal yers”

“What?! No, ya cannot do that”

“Hey, no punching. Why are ya such a meanie?”

“Ya do not even let me being nice” Osamu snaps.

They both laugh. Osamu rests his back with his hands support from behind and Atsumu crosses his legs.

“Father keep asking me to marry a princess. Not a prince”

Osamu watches him from behind. Recalling the only serious and deep conversation they ever had- stealing some foods at midnight and sneaking out from castle. They never share their love life, even before he is not with Sunarin.

“I told father. I like him”

“I told father too that I do not want the throne. Ya can have it”

Osamu wants to protest. He does not want the throne too if it means he needs to leave Suna. But he does not say anything, he just listens to everything Atsumu is ranting about.

But according to Atsumu who starts feeling emotional again, their father said no. It is Inarizaki’s tradition for the eldest son to be the next ruler. And that answers everything to why his father is strict to him.

Time passing by, the party comes to the end and only the close families are still staying. The Miya will leave soon too and Atsumu thought he should meet the birthday prince again.

Atsumu watches Sakusa is silent as the man is playing his violin at the balcony. With his eyes closed, white outfits and beautiful standing figure, he is mesmerized once again that day.

“Why are you standing so far away?” Sakusa asks.

Though getting surprised by that sudden question, Atsumu replies calmly, “It is a rule to not get close to ya, is not it? Rule is a rule”

“It is not like you obey it in your life” Sakusa retorts.

Atsumu laughs and finally makes his way next to him. Watching the carriages dragged away, people saying goodbyes-

“Do not you like it when we get close?”

Atsumu turns his body to face the man asking. Sakusa is always calm and reserved but the damage he did on Atsumu is beyond the word can describe.

“I like it. I like every moment I am with ya, Omi. Even if I am just seeing ya from far away, I still like it”

Atsumu feels everything stops for a while. Sakusa is smiling that he tries to hide it. But the slow and beautiful moment ruined when Osamu comes and yells at him from the door, “Tsumu, we are leaving!”

They bicker from a far for a while before he walks towards the door.

“See ya very soon, Omi. Happy birthday once again”

_How long is soon? A year?_

  * **Sakusa’s 24 th birthday -**



Sakusa stood next to the King- greeting the guests coming at the front door of the Great Hall. He is glad enough all he needs to do is bowing and not shaking hands or anything worse than that.

As the Miya’s name being announced, Sakusa absentmindedly checking on himself- tidying his outfits, checking on his hair, pulling up his gloves and checking on his shoes. He looks up to meet Atsumu’s eye-smiles who is standing behind King Miya- secretly waving at him before Osamu grabs his hand and they start bickering; caught others attentions.

Did he unconsciously dress himself better to get him to notice and do not know, fall in love, maybe? Nobody knows.

They walk pass by Sakusa to enter the hall as Atsumu says a quick _hi, Omi, it’s me_ which he replies with _yea, it is you_.

Osamu drags Atsumu as he waves back at him- saying he will wait inside. Sakusa smiles to himself, did not know that some of his people caught it as they look at Atsumu before back at him again.

Done with the greetings, Sakusa does not follow others to the hall but turns his back only to be called.

“Hey, Omi!” Atsumu calls with his hands raised.

“Atsumu, mind yer language. Father told ya before!”

“What? I was just calling him”

They are so ready to fight when Sakusa turns his back, _now there is two Atsumu_.

“Did you guys need to fight every time you have a chance? Or did you expect me to stop you?”

Atsumu slaps Osamu’s hand on his collar as he tidying himself, clearing his throat and stand straight.

“Omi, happy birthday. I got ya a gift” Atsumu tells.

Osamu raises his brows, eyes turn to him as he asks, “Ya did?”

Atsumu grins back at him before looking at Sakusa again. The male does not even give a reaction nor saying anything.

“Him. Ya like me, right? So, I brought my twin. So, ya have two me”

Never once in Osamu’s life he is this dumbfounded by his own dna. And never once in Sakusa’s life witnessing a real shameless guy.

“Are you serious?” Sakusa asks- death tone to which Atsumu replies- excited, “I am”

“God, I pity yer future spouse”

Seconds passing by as they stare at each other before Sakusa chooses to walk away and pretend nothing happened.

But Atsumu, who knows exactly where he is heading, “Omi, can we come with ya to-“

“No. Go back to the main hall”

“But I promised Samu-“

Sakusa turns his back again in a second, causing both of them stop at their track.

“Why did you promise him something out of your league? And, I thought you are sane. Why did you believe him?”

“I know, right? I am surprised too” Osamu replies.

Sakusa walks away and Osamu has a hard time to stop Atsumu from following him, “Let’s go, Tsumu. I want to eat something”

“No. His music room also have a lot of snacks and foods. Do not ya interest?”

Yes, he is. He is that easy to read.

“Then, what should we do? Should we beg?”

“Nah. We are gentlemen. And a gentleman did not beg”

\--

Sakusa was greeted by two _gentlemen_ in front of his music room. His personal assistant is also waiting for his command. Though they are princes, they are not _his_ prince.

“ _Please_. We will not touch anything. Right, Samu?”

Osamu forms a thin smile on his face staring at Sakusa, begging him to believe them despite their behaviors.

Sakusa sighs and opens the door for them before they run inside where Osamu immediately attacks the food section while Atsumu standing next to the piano. Sakusa asks himself again why did he let them in.

Sakusa watches Osamu in horror as he hands him tissues and asks him to wipe the corner of his mouth. Sakusa does not realize how long he has been staring as he snaps back to reality and walking to where Atsumu is.

“Did something happen?” he asks the smiling yet seems exhausted guy.

“No. Nothing major” is what Atsumu replies when Osamu interrupts him with his mouth full. Sakusa face-palms himself at the sight.

“He does not sleep a wink last night”

Sakusa looks at Osamu as a sign to continue. He is just so done to do anything, even talking.

“Probably excited to meet ya“ Osamu states while grabbing the other snacks.

“Wha- I am going to tell father yer lying”

“When did I lie?”

“Oh, shut up. Why do not ya go eat something outside?”

“Very good idea. I am leaving. Goodluck keeping up with him, Kiyoomi”

The sight of Osamu being pushed outside with hands full with the _stolen_ foods is something that makes Sakusa finds very hard to contain his laugh. But he succeeds.

“How very peculiar. He is talking nonsense” Atsumu says awkwardly.

Now, they are alone. Just like before.

“Is he lying?” Sakusa asks while wiping the mess Osamu did- busying himself from getting too distracted.

“Probably”

Sakusa takes off his gloves as he faces Atsumu and reaches for the new one from inside the drawer. Atsumu waits and looks outside when Sakusa suddenly asks, “So, you really do not want to meet me?”

“Wha- no. I mean, yes. Yes, but no. Ah, what am I talking?” he rests his chin on the piano as he adds, “Times like this is where I want to be like Osamu. He is always calm even when yer around yet I always get nervous”

“You say so, but I think that is your biggest pretend”

“What ya mean?”

“Osamu being calm has nothing to do with your nervous feeling. It is that simple”

Atsumu’s face is so ridiculous that Sakusa lets out a light chuckle, makes Atsumu’s eyes growing bigger at the sight. _Ah, finally_ \- he has in mind.

“It is beautiful” he whispers.

“What is?”

Sakusa looks at him and his around to see what did Atsumu meant by it. So is Atsumu, also searching for the meaning behind his own words.

“The music, yea. And the moon. Omi, let’s go outside and watch the moon”

Sakusa picks up his violin instead and play the exact same melody to the one being played at the hall as they can hear from the balcony. The music is loud enough but they still can hear the people laughing. Sakusa makes his way outside and stands behind Atsumu while playing.

Atsumu watches him as he leans his hips against the baluster, he folds his arms, “It is strange. Why ya nice to me? Do not ya hate me?”

“Why would I? Besides, I do not hate anyone”

Sakusa glances at him for a brief second before closing his eyes again.

“Yea, but ya did not vibe with anyone. Even yer personal assistant is keeping his distant from ya” Atsumu replies.

Rumors have it that Prince Kiyoomi is not good with people but now that he is witnessing it and being close to him even, all he got to say is- it is not that the prince is bad at interacting but nobody got the patience to stay with his ideal.

“I bet ya never sneak out to the town, yea? Ya know, they got a pantomime- the actor but cannot talk and he is really good. Also, there is a song they used to sing is my favorite- you can count on me like 123, I’ll be there-“

Atsumu is singing and his voice is really for god sake is not suit for that kind of music. The contradiction is something you cannot turn a blind eye on it.

“Are you serious? I feel like laughing”

Sakusa may say that but his face also is contradicting his statement.

“Ya do not have to laugh, Omi. Just try smiling”

“Stop asking me to smile”

He puts down the instrument, makes his way next to Atsumu but still in his comfort zone. Atsumu steals a glance at him before looking down as he mutters, “Why? Why hiding something so beautiful?”

Atsumu expects a comeback but instead, they stop in an awkward silence. Atsumu avoids his eyes and Sakusa grips the violin tight.

Atsumu rubs the back of his nape and doing something such as pushing and pulling himself with the handrail while Sakusa just watching the people below them who is partying outside the hall- majority are dancing, some are eating and some just chilling. Atsumu experiences internal breakdown inside when the music changes. People start to put down their glass and walk towards the center to dance.

He glances at Sakusa who shows nothing but keep watching the sight below them. _What should I say to him? Can I have this dance- nah, too formal. Will you dance with me? Omi, want to dance with me? Ey, why is everything too cliché? Or I am just feel nervous to ask._

_But, now or never_. Then, he simply extends his hand as he crouches down- his glove is still brand new for Sakusa’s information. Sakusa raises his brow watching the prince in front of him smiling awkwardly, waiting for his answer.

Few seconds later, Sakusa holds his palm, “Shall we?”

Atsumu hides his smile before putting an awkward grin instead. Though he is the one who asks, he still cannot believe it to which Sakusa adds, “I am serious”

And the next second, they are in another moment.

After it seems so short for them to part away, the music from the hall stops and fireworks are decorating the night sky. They turn to look at it for a while before Atsumu turns to look at the tall man. _Why look outside when his eyes are also full of fireworks?_

Without he realizes, his left hand is on Sakusa’s shoulder as the other makes its way to touch Sakusa’s mole on his forehead. Sakusa leans in to his touch as he holds Atsumu’s palm. Their eyes stare at each other’s, hearts beating so incredibly loud and adrenaline is moving its way so damn fast.

_Even though we never said it to each other, we knew. We did not need words, we just looked at each other and smile._ Is what Sakusa has in mind while looking at Atsumu who smiles warmly at him.

Slowly, the gap between them reduces inch by inch. Atsumu looks into Sakusa’s eyes- maybe is asking for permission as the prince does nothing but stares back. Atsumu’s confidence roses. He brings his palm on Sakusa’s cheek and before he can do anything more- Atsumu pulls back instead. Both of his hands are on Sakusa’s shoulders. He avoids eye contacts.

“I- I am sorry but I need to go” is what Atsumu says before he leaves the room in instant, leaving Sakusa standing there and watching his back instead of running after him. _Why?_

\--

At the same dark alley where he stayed with Osamu back then, he falls to his butt and leans against the wall.

_Marry a princess, Atsumu. Do not make me repeat my words. Ya hear me?_

_Yes, father._

Now that he promised his father, he should escape from Sakusa. He should ignore him and pretends like nothing ever happened. _It is not like the prince likes me back anyway_. _But why did he let me do that?_

Atsumu stays there alone as he buries his face on his knees, thinking what to do- whether he should forget the throne or forget Sakusa. _I might hurt someone with the choice I choose_.

At the same time, the other scene, Sakusa leaves his music room to be greeted by his personal assistant who just come back from who-knows-where.

“Did you, by any chance, see Atsumu?”

“I saw him with Prince Osamu at the hall, sir”

Sakusa feels weird asking about someone. For as long as he remembers, the only people he asking for beside his family is Komori.

“You guys are perfect together, sir” the man says out of the blue.

Nobody says who but Sakusa just chuckles, “You think so?” to which he got a _yes_ from him.

After a few seconds, Sakusa finds himself get a hard time to choose the prefect answer for the sudden question his assistant asked.

“You really like Prince Atsumu, sir?”

Seconds turns to minutes and instead of answering, Sakusa smiles as he evades the question. But for the man asking, it is already enough as an answer.

“I convince myself that he is loud, annoying and lack of common sense. But I cannot keep pretend, now, all I want is to listen to his story, dance with him and playing violin next to him” he tells.

“This is the first time I have ever heard you talk that much, sir”

  * **Sakusa’s 25 th birthday, 20 March -**



Instead of staying and socializing at the hall like other people did, they spend the precious time being together instead.

Drinking the liquid, Atsumu states, “I do not like people with long hair” as he rests his chin on his palm. They stay at the balcony and watching people. Atsumu probably is talking about someone he saw down there that Sakusa tries to find who but there are just so many.

“Well, nobody likes ghost” he replies after a while.

Atsumu turns at him as he chuckles. _At least, he replies_ \- that is what matters to him.

Sakusa glances over him. Atsumu has been talking less that day, it is not like he hates it but something is bothering him. The fact that he did not crack a silly joke is also confusing.

“What is wrong? You have something to talk to me? I am a pretty good listener”

Atsumu smiles at him- does not even bother to answer but shrugs his shoulders. He then points at random guests and laughing at them- says that their outfits does not suit them, the girls eat too much, that one man who dances weirdly and even lovebirds at the end of the hall.

“Why did you come here?” Sakusa asks.

Atsumu looks at him in disbelief before replying, “I am always here with ya on yer birthday, Omi”

Sakusa lets out a soft chuckle, “I mean, you always stay for hour or so at the hall”

“Yeah but I guess want to see ya the first thing I came here”

Sakusa looks down- his face is heating up. _Is this the moment where I should confess? The worst thing will happen is he will just laugh and say he does not feel the same. Knowing him, we still can be friends after._

Fidgeting with his fingers, he takes few glances at Atsumu to finally realizes his eyes are not lively like what they used to. His hooded eyes are more likely telling him that he is sad rather than just normal heavy eyelids. Sakusa clears his throat, “You okay?”

Sakusa might not know this but Atsumu actually is looking at his father, King Miya who is talking with another royal family. Deep down in his heart, Atsumu is half mad and half sad as he recalls what his father told him before they reached Itachiyama, _“Ya will be a disgrace to family if ya do not listen to me”_

He then smiles and replies to Sakusa who has been waiting, “Does it seems like I am not?”

He finishes his glass and put it on the table behind them. He crouches down with hands both on the handrails as he stares back at the people. Smiling to himself before resting his cheek on his hand and looks at Sakusa.

“I am not. But seeing you now has put me in a super duper extra awesome good mood. Thanks”

Time passing by, Atsumu leaves the balcony and sit in front of the piano before opening the lid and stares at the key. Sakusa follows after him as he stands next to it.

“What ya want for yer next birthday? I can pluck the stars for ya, but of course, that was just a figure for my speech. So, do not ask for it”

Sakusa laughs at that and Atsumu forgets how to play for a while.

“Come visit me on my next birthday”

Atsumu smiles at him as he nods lightly. He starts pressing the keys and plays Sakusa’s favorite song- love is gone. The melody is a bit different to what Sakusa used to play, Atsumu makes it a little happier.

“Omi, ya said ya like someone, right? May I know who?”

Atsumu looks up, Sakusa’s face is still flat and shows no reaction to his question- _he probably does not want to tell._

“We are at the age of marriage now. At least, share this secret with me”

“What if I did not want to tell you?”

“Then, it cannot be helped”

People cheering can finally be heard when the music ended and is now fireworks time. Atsumu rapidly leaves the sit and runs towards the balcony to watch the stars. His smile is wide and he cannot stop muttering _it is so beautiful_.

And Sakusa watches him instead as he stands closer than what he planned to. His lips parted and his voice is low. He looks away from him as he asks, “You like someone, Atsumu?”

The guy does not even hesitate and secretive about it as he did that he answers, “I do”

Sakusa’s heart sinks down- _is there a chance that he is talking about me?_ Sakusa starts seeing future, thinking who is he talking about and how did they met and how good it is to spend the rest of their live with Atsumu and-

“But, I do not think we can be together”

Atsumu’s smile fades as he turns his gaze to Sakusa who asks him the reason _why_ through his eyes. He smiles warmly- just enough to make Sakusa feels butterflies inside- forgetting the broken feeling he just felt.

“Why are ya frowning, Omi?”

Sakusa lets out a small _oh_ and parts his brows which makes Atsumu chuckles. Never in his life thought this day will come- to see a cute and funny side of the prince in front of him.

“Ya know, I really, really want to confess to him. I like him so much. So, so much that I think he might already know it”

Yes, he is talking about Sakusa Kiyoomi who he had a crush on since the second times they met- on Sakusa’s 21st birthday.

But the happiness did not last long until his father knows this. The fact he likes the prince and he being the eldest son did not make the great combination. It makes no sense for his father. And cannot be accepted.

Sakusa at the other hand is keeping his heart calm. _It is okay since I did not tell him yet. I should be okay_.

“Omi-kun, ya can hate me anytime, ya know”

Atsumu is a carefree prince. He does not mind if anyone hates him- which is so many from the other nations since they said he is arrogant jerk or some of his people saying he does not have a great manner just like his twin brother. But for him to say that to Sakusa, to let him hate him, is hurting him to another level of pain.

But he has to let him know. That is why he is there with him.

“Where is that coming from?” Sakusa asks, confused.

“I am just saying. Ya said ya will never hate me, but I guess that is a bit- doubtful?”

Not before Sakusa can demand another explanations or carry on their talk, Osamu slams open the room- okay, just forget the fact Atsumu does not have a great manner, Osamu sometimes forgets the etiquettes too.

“Tsumu, we are leaving”

Both hearts are broken at the statement as their eyes meet. Atsumu stares at him longer than he ever did as Sakusa is wishing for them to stay- if possible. They still have something to tell but the moments do not let them.

“I need to go. It is and always is a great moment with ya and Omi, I am sorry if I, in any way, hurting ya without I realize it”

  * **Few months later, to be exact, 5 October, the twin’s birthday -**



Sakusa is greet with a news being handed to him as soon as he opens the door. His man is bowing to him to which he never did while handing him the paper and Sakusa chooses not to ask but putting the daily news on his bed before leaving to head towards the dine hall.

“Kiyoomi, I should not ask you this during meal but- when will you get marry? Did you have someone in your heart?” the king asks.

As for the queen, she got too excited that she lets her spoon down and faces him, “Son, should I pair you with Princess Maiko?”

Sakusa’s siblings are used to it since all of them experienced it when they were Sakusa’s age. They giggling amongst them and smirk to Sakusa before showing a thumbs up.

“I thought you like Kanoka, mother?”

“Yea, I like her so much but she is a married woman now. She might be the next queen”

_Now that, she is married, she pairs me up with her friend._ Sakusa has in mind but a sudden realization hits him, “She did? With who?”

The siblings are listening as they wait for their parents to tell- they basically skip the morning news just like Sakusa.

“Oh, you know him. I heard you guys are close. It is one of the Miya Twin” his mother starts.

Sakusa’s eyes widen, slowly he turns his face to look at his father while wishing. _Please, it cannot be_ -

“It is Prince Atsumu. You know, the crown prince”

_What?_ Sakusa immediately looks at his man to see him nods his head slowly. _That is why_.

Everything is now clear and he finally got all answers to why Atsumu behaved like that on his past birthday. _He was getting married. But why is he apologizing? Did he know I like him? What about him? What about his feeling? Who really has his heart?_

“They had their wedding yesterday and you know, today is the twin’s birthday and yesterday was the wedding. I bet Inarizaki is busy”

“I bet they look so perfectly good together. Prince Atsumu is so handsome and Kanoka is beautiful. They are a pair made in heaven”

Is Sakusa listening? Nobody knows.

  * **Sakusa’s 27 th birthday -**



He does not greet anyone, does not meet anyone and has been locking himself in his room since the first guests come. The King and Queen does not say anything about it and nobody questions it.

But his mother knows it. Sakusa told her. On his birthday last year which The Miyas did not come and he is hurting. _We did not make a promise, but he said he will come_.

_It is okay, son. Do not let it be the reason you close your heart forever to anyone who is trying to knock it._

Sakusa has been thinking, how should he react when they meet again. Will he be okay when the times come? But, the real question is, will they meet again?

_I want to meet him, even if it is just for saying goodbyes. It should not matter whether he is married or not, I just want to meet him and hang out like usual._

The music from the hall is now can be heard, means the party is starting without the prince. Sakusa told them he will come later when it is his turn for performance and that’s it.

He makes his way to the music room to practice some more only to hear a melody from the piano. A strange song but somehow, he knows what song is it.

_You can count on me like 123, I’ll be there._

Sakusa faster his walk before reaching the hold. The door wide opened and Atsumu sits there calmly on his soft color suit- pressing the key gently before their eyes meet. The smile is still on his face.

“This is a forbidden room” Sakusa tells.

Atsumu presses the last key and stands before walking towards him, “Even if I said I am lost?”

Sakusa manages to smile as Atsumu does the same. _Always the one who can quiet my mind_. At that being told, the silly conversations start again with Atsumu’s lead.

“I am a goldfish”

“At what aspect?”

“We both have gold”

“What do ya call a small mother? A minimum”

“Ya know why the milkman dies? Because everyone dies, Omi”

They laugh so hard and though it is Atsumu’s jokes, he is the one who laughs the loudest. Sakusa smiling and his mind is at ease watching him, _I treated you extra special, different to other people, but why?_

Atsumu wipes the visible tears on the corner of his eyes and lets out a light chuckle. He smiles, releasing a very deep breath. Then, they both drown in a silent atmosphere.

“Ya mad?”

Sakusa looks at the prince who avoids his stares, Atsumu never does that. He is someone who proudly stares back and proudly says he wins if someone breaks the gaze first.

“I am not” he tells slowly.

“Do not ya have anything to say or to ask?”

“I do not”

“Can I explain?”

“You do not have to. You do not owe me anything”

Atsumu nods and gives almost a whisper _okay_ to him. _At the end, the one I hurt is him_.

“Ya know, Omi. I like being with ya. I like that I liked ya but I almost wish we never met”

The fact that Atsumu actually likes him back then enough to make him smile. _At least, I did not fall in love alone. But how will my broken heart be mended?_

Atsumu is clearly being in love with someone else now. It is written on his face that all he got left for him is guilty. _He is just apologizing for hurting me. And for leaving me_. But there is nothing he can do even if he knows it.

“Kanoka is- beautiful. Inside and outside. Been knowing her since little. It is good to know she is in a good hand. Also, she got a short hair” Sakusa tells, trying to crack a joke.

Atsumu chuckles and nods. Sakusa’s lips trembles trying to form a smile but the more he tries to be strong and saying he is okay, the more his heart broken into million pieces from the small pieces left.

“Have a very happy life, Atsumu”

_I love you._

\--

It is finally the moment everyone has been waiting. The birthday prince finally shows himself to the crowd and is standing on the stage, ready to amaze the people. Standing on a bit higher place than the crowd gives him access to look at everyone.

As people are staring at him, he finally lands his eyes on Atsumu at the back (food section) who is too busy bickering with Osamu to notice anyone else or whatever is happening around him. Sakusa looks at Kanoka who stands next to Atsumu- watching them bickering while chuckling.

He mutters to himself, _yea, it is very good to know she is in a good hand._

The sound from the violin finally echoes in the hall. The melody that makes everyone closes their eyes for moment to have a better hearing. The sweet melody that makes Sakusa drown in his own thought.

_There is no such a thing like a happy ending for the first love. We are only a moment._

Atsumu then finally notices the melody as he looks in front. Osamu glances over at him before at Sakusa once again. The man in front of them has everyone’s eyes on him yet his are on Atsumu the moment the last notes being played.

_Do not tell me that your love is gone. That your love is gone._


End file.
